How To Get Revenge On Your Old Boss

Published: 13th December 2008
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So it finally happened. The big awkward scene took place and you left your job, disgraced, humiliated, and never to return. It wouldn't have been so unbearable had your boss not been an absolute jerk about it. What can you do? There are a lot of people in this world, and unfortunately, a great deal of them are what we normal people called "difficult personalities." Some bosses can be condescending, rude, aggressive, snobby or even downright violent. Here are five ideas for revenge.

1.Get Your Boss In Trouble
This should be a no brainer. If your ex-boss has acted illegally or at least unethically then he or she should be reported to proper authorities. Granted, no lawyer has ever successfully sued a boss for being a sanctimonious ninny, but there sure have been a lot of cases that have been won over sexual harassment, libel and employee discrimination. If you have no legal case against your boss, then report him or her to the Better Business Bureau or set up a website that will explain the ugly truth of his inanity. If you're going to go this route though, stay anonymous or be prepared to offer supporting evidence, since if you use any names this could be construed as libel.

2.Slip Your Boss a Mickey
Okay, this is not a practical choice, though that Seinfeld episode where George tried the unthinkable is a classic. Come to think of it, any form of physical violence or attempted poison is a really bad idea, since you will eventually be discovered and probably sent to jail. What makes matters worse is that your boss will probably visit you in the slammer just to rub your race in the situation. Never do this, okay?

3.Tell Off the Boss in Front of Others
This is a bit childish, but hey-it is one of the most therapeutic and rotten things you can do to a boss that deserves comeuppance. You can choose to tell off your boss in person and embarrass him or her in front of the office staff or you can embarrass the bad boss in a large group email. Don't just stick to the issue; bring in every possible issue you can imagine that relates to your ex-boss's incompetence, hypocrisy or just plain evil nature. Every boss secretly fears the public tell-off and will strut and sweat it out publicly but crumble inside.

4. Pull a Practical Joke
Great idea, because you can exact this form of revenge whether or not you're still working at the office. If you have been unceremoniously fired then you have nothing to lose. However, even if you are still subjected to his or her onerous whims, you can anonymously prank him and hope that you've destroyed all evidence linking the prank to you. If you can't manage a practical joke, then at least try prank calling him from a payphone. If you want to really return evil for evil make the prank call somewhat legitimate-sounding, as in an angry lawyer or drug counselor. Imagine the possibilities!

5. Forgive the Little Man
Lastly, learn to forgive the little man (or woman). If you have something to say to your boss (current or ex) then for your own sake, you should speak your mind. Holding in a grudge for countless months or years will affect your health far more than the boss's. Understand that your boss was probably threatened by you in some way and reacted badly in weakness. Forgive him or her, at least in the sense that you refuse to give your boss the satisfaction of hurting you. Just think of how miserable his or her life must be, not having any friends or a happy family to come home to. Thank God that you are not your boss! Be a better person, be kinder to your employees and make a lot of money. That's really the best method of revenge and results in fewer lawsuits overall.

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